Little secret

The beautiful ones
The good ones
Why the ones we cherish so much

Here they come again
Cursing me and berating me
I was created for a purpose
I am nature as nature is

It can't be nature to cause pain
Can't be nature to cause tears
To be happy to cause sadness
Why

I do my job and I do it well
For that they hate me
Pain is nature.
Tears are nature.

Take the ones we love
Hearts break
A hole that no one can replace

Let me let you in on a little secret
The beautiful ones go in order to help the beautiful ones left here
You could say a new guardian angel




-Dedicated to Ogaga "Loopy" Okparavero

Soul therapy

You’re in my couch

I’m listening to your problems

I’m a shrink

I don’t do this to help you

I do it for me

I do it to feel the hunger in my soul

The couch you’re so comfortable in

The reason why you come back every week

It drains your pain

Pain on which I feed

The tissues wipe your tears

Drink that makes me high

The sounds of your despair and anguish

They take me to a place

A place where all is sad

Where no one smiles

All is tears and all is bland

My most happy place.

Cepa, vel aliquid aliud?

You peeled off my first layer

Your hand on my pink flesh

I smile widely but you don’t see it

Too busy doing what you are

I’d seen you do this to others

And always silently wished

You’d do the same for me

Wait stop

My grin abruptly going off

What are you doing?

I’m staring at you

Calling you, screaming out your name

What are you doing?

You’re going deeper

Past more and more layers

Opening me up and seeing all my secrets

I ask again

What are you doing?

What you see is making you cry

Silent tears

Running down your face

I stare in shock

What are you doing?

The nerve of it

You opened me up

Looked at me inside

Tasted me, and you cry

What are you doing?

I demand of you

My silent tears have no effect it seems

And then you’re done

I lay open totally to you

What did you do?

You pick me up

Throw me out

Walk away

Muttering as you leave

“Stupid thing was spoilt”

Let me introduce my friend

With tears on the page
And gut wrenching sorrow
I can barely see these words
This would be you too
If you were where I am
At the point where you wonder
If you'd be missed even if you die.
The friends too busy with their own lives?
Who only remember you when they need you
That are never there for your's.
Assuming your life is as perfect as it looks
No one knows the pain inside
Because if you do show it
The earth would bleed.
I have learnt to live with my pain
The heartbreak has become a true friend
Now we need each other to survive
It has to hold on to me to exist
I have to hold on to it in order to feel
So I take what I get
And move with my friend pain

Opposite of Something

Unwanted
That's how I've been made to feel
Unappreciated
No one seems to care what I think
Unloved
If I'm down no one takes notice
Unhappy
Because I am unable to not care
Understated
I don't say much because it goes nowhere
Unneeded
Everything can be done without me
Unexcited
What brings me up only makes me fall harder
I am spiralling down
Out of control
I am not depressed
I just care too much
No one understands the workings of my mind
Not even I
I rise only to fall harder and farther
But I must rise it's unavoidable
I want to be cherished
Pampered, hugged and loved
Because right now I feel like
Nothing

Faith

I see the weird stares but I don't care because I have lost faith
Faith in what is known as mankind
Faith in myself
Faith in what should be the natural way
Faith that I would eventually find my own place
I'm standing outside in the dead winter cold
Naked as the day I was born
Tears streaming down because there is no tomorrow
Because what is life without faith
As the snow falls all around me
Take in the beautiful sight
Beauty that I see in everyone but can't find a glimmer in me
I catch one snowflake and stare at its intricacies
How something so small can be so beautiful and exquisitely crafted
Yet I still can't seem to find any faith to go on
As I slowly freeze I think to myself
It is best to be wanted and not had than to be had and not wanted
As my faith went so also did my life

Beatitudinem

I dance, I sing, I smile
Excited, Euphoric, Ecstatic
A moment of pure happiness
No music playing from devices
Just the one from my emotions
My heart dances
No cares, No worries
I accept and love myself
No criticizing voices
It seems they are all asleep
I pray they sleep forever
So that this moment
This happiness never ends